“I am tired of worrying about life. I am tired of thinking about life. I am tired of dealing with all this mess in my life. For once, I just want to live like an 18 year old. Is this too much to ask ?
An unemployed, drunkard father, a mother who runs to God every other second and no friends; life can’t get any worse than this. Look here, don’t get me wrong. I am not ungrateful. I am healthy. I have two fully functioning legs and hands and ears and eyes and all that ****. I get to eat once a day, sometimes even twice! So like I said, I know there re people worse off than me. But still, my pile of mess is exhausting!
You’ve got to understand. I get up everyday. Check whether that worthless piece of **** dad is still breathing. Clean the house. Drop my mom to whichever church catches her fancy. Then roam all around the city in search of some work, so that we won’t have to sleep on empty stomach. And guess who makes the dinner? Yeah, yours truly. God! It is tiring.
Do you get it now? Is it so unthinkable that I would wish for someone to take care of me? That once in my life I won’t have to worry about where the next meal is coming from? To get up and have someone serving me breakfast? Is it so goddamn weird!”
“Oh! So let me get this straight. You killed an innocent girl just because you wanted someone to serve you breakfast. And you thought jail is the best place where your next meal is guaranteed. Is that your motive?”
“Yeah, your honor.”
The pin drop silence in the court was interrupted only by the rumbling of my empty stomach. I smiled wryly.